Tuesday, January 22, 2013


Let's celebrate the fact that you're a woman. Here are just a few of the reasons you should be glad that you belong to the female species! 

  • We got off the Titanic first. 
  • We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
  • We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 
  • Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 
  • We never ejaculate prematurely.
  • We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 
  • We can cry and get off speeding fines. 
  • We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. 
  • Taxis stop for us. 
  • We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers......
  • Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 
  • We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 
  • Free drinks, free dinners. 
  • We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.
  • We can hug our friends without wondering if they're gay. 
  • We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 
  • New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 
  • If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling. 
  • We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 
  • If we forget to shave, no one has to know. . 
  • If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 
  • We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 
  • If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 
  • We have the ability to dress ourselves. 
  • We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 
  • There are times when chocolate or Ice-cream really can solve all our problems. 
  • We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
  • We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 
  • We'll never regret piercing our ears. 
  • Age 3: Looks at herself and sees a queen! 
  • Age 8: Looks at herself and sees herself as Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty. 
  • Age 15: Looks at herself and sees herself as Fat/Pimples/UGLY (Mom, I can't go to school looking like this!) 
  • Age 20: Looks at herself and sees too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly-- but decides she's going anyway. 
  • Age 30: Looks at herself and sees too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly -- but decides she doesn't have time to fix it so she's going anyway. 
  • Age 40: Looks at herself and sees too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly -- but says, At least I am clean, and goes anyway. 
  • Age 50: Looks at herself and sees I am and goes wherever she wants to go. 
  • Age 60: Looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. She goes out and conquers the world. 
  • Age 70: Looks at herself and sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life. 
  • Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world. 
  • Maybe we should all grab that purple hat earlier! 
Every Woman Should Have...
  • Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to. 
  • The realization that she is actually going to have an old age and some money set aside to fund it. 
  • A skin care regime, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after age 30. 
  • Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored. 
  • One friend who always makes her laugh and one who lets her cry. 
  • Something perfect to wear if the man of her dreams wants to see her in an hour. 
  • A purse and a suitcase that she's not ashamed to be seen carrying. 
  • A youth she's content to move beyond. 
  • A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age. 
  • A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family. 
  • A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded. 
  • A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better. 
  • A feeling of control over her destiny.
  • A set of screwdrivers, a drill and a black lace bra. 

And finally, here are some great quotes by success, funny and wonderful women with attitude and a zest for life.
  • 'In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.' - Margaret Thatcher
  • 'I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.'- Gloria Steinem
  • 'Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.' - Gloria Steinem

  • 'You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.'- Erica Jong
  • 'I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours!' - Rita Rudner
  • 'Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.'- Erma Bombeck
  • If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.' - Sue Grafton
  • 'I think, therefore I'm single.'- Lizz Winstead
  • 'When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.'- Elayne Boosler
  • 'Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.'- Maryon Pearson
  • 'Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.'- Eleanor Roosevelt
source: http://www.indiaparenting.com/beauty/article.cgi?art_id=64&sec_id=10

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